Doc and Sally inside
They're cookin' for the down five
Who're starin' at Miss Rayon
Who's busy licking up her pig-pen
I'm searching for my mainline
I said I couldn't hit it sideways
I said I couldn't hit it sideways
just like Sister Ray said

Rosey and Miss Rayon
They're busy waiting for her booster
who just got back from Carolina
said she didn't like the weather
They're busy waiting for her Sailor
who's dressed in pink and leather
(alt: who said he's just as big as ever)
He's just here from Alabama
he wants to know a way to earn a dollar
I'm searching for my mainer
I said I couldn't hit it sideways
I said I couldn't hit it sideways
just like Sister Ray said

Cecil's got his new piece
He cocks and shoots it bang between three and; four
He aims it at the Sailor
Shoots him down dead on the floor
Aw, you shouldn't do that
Don't you know you'll stain the carpet

Now don't you know you'll stain the carpet
And by the way have you got a dollar
Oh, no man, I haven't got the time-time
She's busy sucking on a ding-dong
He's busy sucking on my ding-dong
just like Sister Ray said
I'm searching for my mainline
I said I c-c-c-couldn't hit it sideways
I said I c-c-c-couldn't hit it sideways
just like Sister Ray says

Who's that knocking
Who's that knocking on my chamber door
Could it be the police?
They come and take me for a ride-ride
But I haven't got the time-time
She's been sucking on my ding-dong
She's busy sucking on my ding-dong
Just like Sister Ray said
I'm searching for my mainline
I couldn't hit it sideways
I couldn't hit it sideways
just like... Sister Ray says